New Directions

Reading over my previous posts, I really enjoy the kind of deep thinking and personal insight that I've experienced over the lifetime of this blog, and further. I don't have a central thesis to talk about as of the writing of this sentence, so I expect this to be somewhat disjointed. All of the ideas that come out are in progress and do not necessarily accurately reflect my feelings and thoughts at present.

Part of me misses when I would go out as often as possible and come out with a new theory every week about life, women and relationships. Part of me feels as though that's not me anymore, and that as I grow and change, so too will my focus of energy and ideas. Part of me just misses the drama of caring so god damned much about girls.

I'm gunna throw out some statistics about myself that aren't a hundred percent accurate (I'd rather not dig up the evidence to support them).

I discovered the pickup community in September of 2006, my freshman year of college. I first read The Game that month, and read The Venusian Arts Handbook in October.

Prior to that, I had slept with 6 different women. I had hooked up with (meaning further than just kissing and groping) probably a dozen or so, and I had kissed around 15 or 20.

I lost my virginity at the age of 16 when I was a sophomore in high school near the end of the year, which means that I had about two and a half years of active sex life before discovering the community.

That's around three women slept with per year, to make the math simple.

In that time I had 4 relationships that were worth remembering or that had an impact on me.

As I stand now, it's been about three to three and a half years since I discovered the community.

I've had sex with 22 or 23 different women (I'll say 22 and be conservative), hooked up with...fuck... probably over 30, and kissed well over 70. I've probably been sexually involved (meaning at least kissed (in a sexual way, not just friendly)) with over 100 people.

In terms of sex, that's about six people per year.

If my stats are anywhere near accurate (and I question whether they are), I've doubled my sexual productivity, about tripled my hook up productivity, and about tripled or quadrupled my kissing productivity. Wow. Them's some numbers.

Since discovering the community, I've had I think only three decent/impactful relationships. I feel like that can't be right and I must be forgetting somebody, but if I'm forgetting them, how meaningful or impactful was the relationship?

This seems like compelling evidence for the contention that the community has not strengthened my ability to find women who I like having a relationship with, or can keep around. This has been a concern of mine, that I hook up with women who I don't like. Interesting to see it written out like this, but I have another direction I'd like to take this information.

According to the Kinsey Institute website ( http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/resources/FAQ.html ) which may have information as recent as 2005, the average man age 30-44 reports only 6-8 sexual partners in their lifetime. In terms of sexual numbers, I'm an outlier to an enormous degree, I'm a statistical superhuman. I've almost tripled the upper estimate of a statistic reported on men who are at least eight years my senior. At 6 people per year on average, that is another 48 women onto my original 22, for a grand total of 70 women by the time I'm 30.

If sex is as important as I've made it; if it is as central to life and being as I have placed it, and if it holds as crucial a place in my values as it has, then I should be a person of the utmost self esteem and pride. Especially in light of the numbers up above.

But I'm not.

Granted, I genuinely believe I have higher self esteem than the majority of people I know, but that does not mean that I have high self esteem.

If the purpose of life, as Mystery likes to say again and again, is to survive and to replicate, what place in the world does that leave for achievement? If the only measure of your potency as a human being is the number and quality of the sexual partners you've had, and pride and self esteem is the barometer of that success, why am I not three times happier and more self fulfilled than the average person? And if I am (which sometimes I think I am) what does that say about our abysmally low standard for what qualifies as a happy, fulfilled life?

More important, is my choice of the word "sometimes" above. It came out as things naturally do, not out of a careful reasoned decision. My happiness and self esteem has been as variable as the choice of a single card from a deck. However statistically superhuman my sexual efforts may be, my feeling of self esteem and overall happiness does not reflect what it seems should be the logical outcome of such a life. To a person whose primary value is getting laid, who is faced with evidence that he has already well surpassed the lifetime numbers of an average man, should he not feel proud of what he has done and accomplished?

And the simple answer is, no, he should not. We have made a mistake as men (as humans even) in placing sex as a primary value. Even those who denounce sex as evil or dirty place it as one of their highest values, but as a negative. I am and have been one of the worst proponents of this mistake. The mistake is not just placing sex as a value, but in thinking of sex as an achievement.

Sex is not an achievement.

If the purpose of human life is to survive and to replicate, we should not live in the world we live in now. There would be no sky scrapers, no airplanes, no fast food or video games. There would be no birth control. There would be nothing in this world that we did not need to survive and to replicate if we were just little social robots programmed to fuck and continue the cycle.

Therefore, the purpose of life is NOT simply to survive and to replicate. Furthermore, some deeper desire has actively STOPPED us from attempting to live in a survive and replicate manner, some man has ACHIEVED something to do that, and it is called birth control.

As another premise, there exists in this world things that might be described as achievements. If sex is not one of these, we still have a myriad of things to choose from and call achievement, those things listed above to start. If those things exist, then there must be a higher driving force that causes them to exist, some innate desire in humans to achieve, to create.

Therefore, one primary purpose of life is to achieve. "Why?" is an interesting question, and I do not have an answer. I do know that it is not circular. In order to achieve, one must make progress, and progress is an upward motion, it does not come back around to where it started (as with replication - have kids, who have kids, who have kids, simply to keep on having kids).


Sex is a non-value that we have mistaken as a value. I'll explore this issue further in another post.

The Curse of Aptitude

Aptitude is defined as follows, "An inherent ability, as for learning; a talent: an aptitude for mathematics."

My whole life, one of my worst fears has been mediocrity. And yet, I've kept myself under it's oppressive force for as far back as I can remember. Each and every time that I've become good at something, demonstrated some kind of ability, and then been met with a challenge that would take me to my limit, I've quit or walked away.

When I was younger, eight years old or so, I was a damn good gymnast. I had been doing gymnastics for several years and feats of strength (such as rolling backward into a handstand) which amazed my parents, felt effortless for me. I was doing so well, that my coach asked that I take part in an upcoming competition. That was the last day I attended practice. I told myself for years it was because I didn't like competition and was just in it for fun.

In school, after 8th or 9th grade, math started to become a serious challenge. In 7th grade, when I still had good work habits, I would work myself to tears trying to understand the math, my parents helping me as much as I would allow them. But as I aged, I became 'more independent' and no longer asked for help with my homework. I started doing the bare minimum to get some sort of credit. It was in 10th grade that I truly discovered girls, and in the three hours it took me to finish an instant message conversation, I didn't have time for math homework, and I quit doing it.

This precipitated a drop in my grades, which I rationalized away as my not being any good at math, having no talent for it. The evidence for which being the A's in all my other subjects. A's that I literally put no effort into achieving.

The only subject in middle and high school that gave me any trouble was math and math based sciences such as chemistry and physics. Without doing any homework (very rarely at least) I managed C's and sometimes C+'s. My aptitude, my ability to just look at something and get it to a point, had brought me A's in everything, but in math, the one challenge, it got me C's. Because of the other A's, I convinced my parents I was working as hard as I could and just wasn't getting it, and they became as complacent with my C's as I was. Thus, I began to acquire the habit of only achieving so far as my aptitude would take me. I was a C student getting A's because I never faced a challenge.

I joined the wrestling team in High school because I enjoyed Ju Jitsu and had never tried a school sport (nor had my brothers). I had two friends on the team going in, and found it hard to make genuine connections with anybody else, being simultaneously older and less experienced.

Practice was the hardest thing I've ever done physically. Each practice I would retreat into my head and hope with everything I had that I would make it through without breaking down or vomiting. Each night when I would get into bed I would cry out in physical pain as I laid my stiff and damaged body down to sleep.

My first meet, I pinned my first ever opponent, got beat once badly, and gave another guy such a battle that his coach came over and shook my hand in astonishment at the end of the match. My coach took me aside and told me the other coaches had been inquiring about me and where I came from. I was so proud and so exhilarated by the competition, something I had never felt before.

When my friends, for medical and other reasons, could no longer be on the team, I found myself without a support group to keep me going. I arrived for practice one day and found everybody gearing up for a meet that, somehow, had come up without my notice. I was so embarrassed, and I didn't have my friends there to talk to me and tell me it was fine, just to work through it, that I made the decision to quit right there. I walked up to the coach, told him timidly that my grades were slipping and, as a senior I needed to prioritize and couldn't wrestle anymore. He shook my hand and said ok, nothing else.

I went home, collapsed on my bed and cried. Inside, I was torn apart by a storm of emotions I couldn't identify or understand. I beat my pillow and cried and screamed and couldn't stop the pain from taking over.

It took me a year or longer to understand why, and up until this moment to write it down alongside my other experiences.

The common theme in all of these experiences is that I got good at something, relatively quickly, and without a great deal of effort (if any). My aptitude carried me through every moment in my life that might have been challenging for any other person, and thus, I never learned what it feels like to want something and have to bring yourself to the edge of destruction in order to achieve it. I never learned to put effort into what I was doing and actually earn my rewards.

What I had learned, was where to stop. When my aptitude could take me no further, that was the point I would become frustrated and either quit or settle.

It was in quitting wrestling that I experienced the pain of behaving this way most acutely. I had already been pushing myself beyond breaking five days per week, and had experienced the great reward of getting on the mat with nobody to rely on but myself and battling my opponent to the end. I had the respect of people whose opinions mattered to me, without the arrogance of thinking that I had nothing left to learn. When I quit, it was the only evidence I had ever presented myself with that, unequivocally, demonstrated how below average I really was. People who I had considered stupid or weak, I could see now, had put more effort, more of themselves into everything they had ever done, and still not achieved as highly as me. And when it came my turn to put on those shoes, I quit.

My aptitude has carried me through college, gotten me (mostly) average women, and brought me to student teaching with a chip on my shoulder and a nothing-left-to-learn attitude. My cooperating teacher observed a lesson I taught last friday and tore me apart with her criticism. It was very humbling, and I felt the same fear that I felt every time I went to wrestling practice, the fear that this time I wouldn't make it, that I would give up, that I wasn't good enough, and that I had so much to learn that I could never possibly cover it all and demonstrate competence. I felt, quite clearly, that I wanted to stand up, collect my things and leave the room, never to come back.

Thank god for investment.

I either grow, or I fail and the last three years in college will have been a waste. You can imagine what choice I made. I want to be a teacher, and it is my great fortune that it will not be an easy road. I know that because I am striving to improve and to not only meet a bench mark, but surpass it, that I will have earned my certification. I will have earned my self esteem.

So be careful of aptitude, of talent, of ability that you did nothing to earn. It's a great gift to be able to do something well, and do so quickly, but a great curse if you allow that point where things become difficult, to be the point where you stop. Pretty good is no better than mediocre.

The Piano Speech

One of the best motivational speeches given at this years 21 Convention. Nick Sparks' Piano Speech.


If you're ever feeling down or frustrated, watch that one, and then this one...the "you're so money" speech

21 Convention ’09 Review/Recap

I intend this to be as much a review of The 21 Convention put on by Dream as it is a recap of each speech and the content covered. The event, newly changed from The Under 21 Convention, now that the focus isn’t as specifically on the under 21 pickup crowd, spanned across four full days from as early as 10 am until 8 pm each night. Generally the format was, two speakers followed by a lunch break, then three more speakers after lunch, with shorter breaks between each speech. You can imagine how much content was covered in the allotted time. Let’s get to it.

Day 1

Dream

After introducing the convention, Dream launched into his speech that he titled “Rise Above.” Life lessons, personal stories, and revelations formed the meat of the content, all geared toward the idea that, in my words, no matter how bad it gets you can always come out on top and still kicking. From heartbreaking loss to financial ruin, he laid it all out on the line, putting on a solid performance.

El Topo

The second speaker, El Topo, began by talking about what makes a good instructor and what the role of the instructor is and how they can accomplish it. He then delved into his methodology of game and how to implement it. Topo quickly transformed questions from the crowd such as “what is one thing you like about yourself and one thing you dislike” through these methods into personal and specific grounding routines. The man demonstrated a complete knowledge of the topic he covered and never failed to address any specific question about himself or what he teaches. He’s one of the genuinely good guys out there who cares about helping out and giving back, putting on multiple talks at the end of each day and even taking somewhere around 10 guys out each night to work specifically with – for free.

Julian Foxx

Highlights of this speaker included several drills that he teaches to his paying students, a method of creating incentive to go out and accomplish your goals, and several specific techniques. A low energy, but none the less knowledgeable speaker.

Adonis

Everything you could want to know about same night lays: where to take her, how to do it, when to do it, and techniques for making it happen. The man is a veritable machine set to ‘Fuck’ who managed to take time off to speak about the mechanisms that turn his gears. Very solid speech from a gifted and extremely knowledgeable speaker, the man also went out and made himself available to guys in-field at no charge.

Nilatak

A return speaker from the ’07 convention and the man who gave me the single best feedback post in response to a field report ever, Nilatak just had a short time to jump on stage and do some short demonstrations. He had three guys from the audience, at different skill levels, come on stage and approach him, after which he would break down what was good, what wasn’t, and how to fix common problems. Good stuff, great guy.

Psych

From PUA Training, Psych was a convention attendee and audience member last year, turned trainer and speaker this year. He talked on his concept of social game, adding value, and what he considers to be the three keys to pickup: likeability, persuasion and sexuality. Pulling back from the game for a bit, he showed a brief clip of AFC Adam from last year’s convention, where Adam calls Psych out as the man to watch, as a man who will soon be very, very good. He then called out the entire audience; if he can come here as an attendee and come back one year later as a speaker, as a man who has accomplished his goals and become greater than the collective mediocrity, then any and every person in the audience can do the same. Great speech and a solid guy.

Day 2

Hshudo

Social circle and college game highlighted one of this year’s youngest speakers. He talked about his mindsets in pickup, told a few stories, and shared some techniques including having your girl bring over a friend for your roommate and visa versa to ease the process and expand your circle. A little nervous at first, he spoke quickly, but as time passed he eased into his groove and gave a decent speech.

Erika Awakening

I’ll hold back a little because I think a few things caused me to be closed off and biased against her presentation, but here is how I saw it. Erika talked about “Spiritual Seduction: how to change your love life through your belief system” which is actually a topic that interests me greatly. Beginning with her story of a near death experience, Erika then broke down the difference between types of beliefs, talked on the importance of vibes and becoming conscious/aware/present. Her new company does therapy for clients with limiting beliefs through a technique called Emotional Freedom Technique. Many of the guys I spoke with enjoyed her speech, but I found myself a skeptic. She nearly broke down during her story of near death, gave a rather disjointed and bare bones speech, and when I asked specific questions on the mechanics of EFT, she was unable to answer and even referred to it as ‘magic.’ I encourage anybody reading this to watch the video and form their own opinion.

Francis Adams

From the Campus Casanova crew, he talked about college game. Francis is a funny and energetic guy who was able to bring a lot of new and, as far as I know, innovative concepts to the table including his five social circle rules and his concept of female attraction ‘simmering’ and how to use this to your advantage. I especially liked his angle on being friendly and flirty with everybody, not just the girls you’re into, and his idea of “falling in love a little with every girl.” I know just what you mean man. Good stuff.

Nick Sparks

From The Social Man, Nick talked briefly on college game and then got into his main topic of sexualizing body language. This guy has reached the peak of charismatic, an incredibly gifted speaker. He demonstrated some simple techniques on how to generate sexual chemistry through body posture, touch, proximity, and eye contact on Erika, and I swear she actually fell in love with him on stage. Watch the video and tell me I’m wrong. At the end of his time he gave what I’ve been referring to as “The Piano Speech” the most inspirational and exciting speech since the ‘you’re money and you don’t even know it’ segment in Swingers. Just to get it in writing, Dream you had better have your editing guys cut that part out of the end of his speech so you can upload it as a specific video in and of itself, alongside the full talk. One of the best speeches given at the entire event.

Christian Hudson

Formerly of Charisma Arts, Christian started his own company, The Social Man. Before getting into the gamey portion of his speech, Christian gave a sort of father to son style speech, a cocktail of respect, kicks in the ass, and genuine reverent inspiration. I can’t say specifically he said as I was so enamored with his words that I forgot to take notes, except “A winner is a man who refuses to accept his situation, and does something about it.” A real man of action, he gave some specific techniques and conversational tools, as well as concepts on arousal and how to talk. Fantastic speech.

Day 3

AFC Adam Lyons

Filling in for some people who couldn’t make it, Adam gave two different talks. The first was all about closing, which included techniques for making it happen, ways of easing the transition, and hilarious stories to illustrate every point. His second speech was more in depth and advanced, covering frame control and 4 specific methods of doing so verbally. He also talked on, and demonstrated physical frame control. What I love about Adam is his speeches are so well put together and rehearsed, that they don’t even sound like they’re rehearsed and planned ahead. I couldn’t tell which parts were adlibbed and which parts he had said a dozen times in the past. Adam puts across an energy and enthusiasm that is unparalleled by anybody I’ve come into contact with in the community (and with all the talent that shows up to the 21C, that’s saying something). One of the best technical pickup speeches of ’09.

Gone Savage

Savage took things in a different direction, talking about female sexuality and what it is that women desire in a man. He talked about debriefing questions to ask your girls, how to be a unique and compelling man in her life, and the difference between the masculine and the feminine. A very chill and different speaker, he brought something entirely new to the table.

Dream #2

Controversial and the only speech to receive a standing ovation, Dream gave his second speech of the convention on proper exercise and nutrition. This speech will challenge everything you think you know about what to eat and how to exercise. Well put together, Dream really knows what he’s talking about. The relevance of this speech to becoming an attractive man is a no brainer, and as Dream put it, no woman is going to tell you “your six pack is way too tight, get out of here.”

Drew Baye

The second speech on health and exercise, Drew talked about High Intensity Training. The man knows more about exercise than most of the speakers know about pickup. For any body looking to get involved in a program that will give you the best results, for the least amount of time in the gym, this speech is the best source of fitness advice around. Without a moment of hesitation, Drew answered every question with confidence like a man who invented what he was talking about. He laid out which exercises will most effectively work which muscle groups, how much time to allow for rest and recovery, the concepts behind muscle growth, and what you can expect if you attempt HIT. Really incredible stuff and a talented speaker.

Heartwork

A speaker from last year as well, Heartwork is an instructor for Vin DiCarlo at only 19 years old. A funny and energetic guy, he talked mainly on the friendzone and how to get out of it. Bottom line, “she’s not your fucking friend.” A good speaker, Heartwork was also out in field with a lot of guys.

Day 4

Righthand Man

One of the older speakers, RHM has really been out there and experienced it all. He talked about how women tend to view men and create expectations for how men should behave, what he knows about marriage (17 year veteran), the traditional way for men to go through life (school, college, get a job, get married, have kids, get divorced), and flipping the script on women. A real consciousness raising speech that any guy who is considering an LTR or marriage should look into. Solid speaker, good content.

Nathan

Hailing from RSD, Nathan was the only speaker who was not filmed. He talked about masculine and feminine qualities, and how when you are at least 51% in the masculine, you will have attraction on some level. He did a few short exercises and drills with the group.

DJ Fuji

Fuji really stepped the fuck up this year and took charge, speaking in a second slot to fill in for some speakers who couldn’t make it. Absolutely worth every second. He spoke on the fundamentals of game, how to get better through his DaTE model (Discipline, Training, Execution, which I’ll never forget and regret not answering the questions when he asked about it haha…). Other topics were common sticking points and pitfalls to avoid while learning. The man spoke in such a way as to really grip at a person’s soul and make them realize how far from their potential they really are allowing themselves to sit, comfortably. Without a doubt, the best speech this year.

Ratisse

Returning again after speaking on text game and sexual priming in ’08, Ratisse talked about his style of game this year which is a method for creating massive social proof and really becoming the king of a venue. The guy is a model of dominance, and his philosophy of “if you’re not happy with who you are, change it” really brings this across. No questions, no compromises, just action. He demonstrated how he works a club on stage and talked in depth on his experiences and methods. What a badass.

Elite Q&A Panel

Once again, all of the remaining speakers got on stage together to take questions from the audience on anything and everything, each giving their own input and opinions on particular subjects from dates, to pulling, to strippers.

The Last Word

Once again Dream put on an event that oozed quality from the get go. One of the speakers even commented on how he has spoken at other large pickup events of this nature, and how Dream managed to put together something that was of greater scale, quality, and better organized. And he really did. Four days and 19 speakers on topics ranging from health to same night lays, the 21 convention once again delivered far more content for far less dollar than you’ll find anywhere else in the community. In addition to the speeches, nearly every speaker was more than happy (and emphasized so in their time on stage) to speak with attendees and answer questions, and even in many cases to make themselves available in field for free, or for dramatically reduced prices. This is really what the seduction community was meant to be about, men getting together to help each other improve their lives. The 21 convention is the manifestation of that ideal in reality. See you next year.

-Dasani

Things to come

I want to write a couple of different posts on here but they're going to take some time to put together, the first moreso than the second.

1. I found Ciaran's post comparing the philosophy of Ayn Rand with the teachings of Eckhart Tolle. Although I enjoyed reading the article, I was disappointed. For one, I disagree with some of his conclusions (the largest of which being the complete incompatibility and fundamental flaws of Objectivism), but for another, and to me the biggest failing, was his almost complete lack of evidence from either text to illustrate his conclusions. I want to write a post that does justice to both thinkers and demonstrates my own view and opinion.

2. I've been reading a lot of men's rights blogs (Pook and Mirror of the soul) and entertainment reading recently, and as great as it is to read about men as being vastly superior to women in every aspect, I disagree with a lot of what I read (some of it is damned funny though). All of them say pretty much the same thing, and while I agree with what they are saying, I disagree that it is women's nature to be as they describe her. I plan to explore this by juxtaposing both arguments alongside Nella Larsen's Quicksand, a novel that I think exemplifies the female mind, albeit a dated work of fiction.

On Thin Ice

I realized that I tend, more often than not, with both guys and girls (moreso girls) to treat myself as though I am on thin ice and the slightest mistake will send me crashing through. I do this most often over impersonal modes of communication, such as text or internet, where there are no subcommunications or non verbals.

If I say something cheeky over text or over facebook, I start worrying "oh my god, if they take that wrong they're going to be upset/stop talking to me/never want to see me again." Then worse still, I start believing that is true, so I start behaving like it's true. Next time I see that guy I'll say to him "dude I just wanted you to know I was totally kidding the other day when I called you gay" or if I see that girl, I'll avoid her eyes, because I expect that she doesn't want to see me anyway, and why be the weirdo who just doesn't "get it," who sticks around even when she clearly is only tolerating him. Best to apologize or to cut my losses and avoid embarassment.

Seriously? What the fuck are you thinking?

You are not on thin ice. Here are some examples of me thinking I'm on thin ice:

Posting something on a girl's facebook wall and not getting a reply that same day.

Replying to a girl's wall post asking me if we can get a drink sometime (a girl from back home, she means when we're both back in our hometown) with "are you buying? =)" and her not replying immediately.

I actually visualize, when I next check my facebook or phone an hour or so later, if they haven't responded, them sitting at their computer going "god what a loser, I can't believe he said that. Weird" and then making a conscious choice not to reply because girls hate telling the truth/confrontation of any sort. My mind runs wild and I assume all kinds of goofy crap.

I assume that no matter what, I'm on a probationary, trial basis. And any mistake I make is seen as a mistake that I'll consistently make for the duration of their knowing me, and so they just cut me to avoid that awkwardness.

Being on thin ice, is a terrible mindset.

I'm almost always wrong. So why then do I always assume this mindset? The only thing I can think of is a focus on past instances where it came true, as opposed to all of the many instances where it didn't. Those times where it did come true, where I sent a goofy text and the girl went non-responsive and quit answering texts entirely, or when I didn't get a reply on facebook and saw the girl and she avoided my eyes, hurt me a lot more than the instances of a person replying to a text or on facebook, felt good. Like, I can't remember all the millions of times I've successfully avoided injury, but I can remember with crystal clarity all of the times I've hurt myself badly.

I'll have to examine this mindset and get rid of it. Remember the time with Doa where you spent a few hours talking with her, and decided just to let it be as it is? You guys talked together, no need to draw conclusions about her liking you or not. She ended up chasing you like crazy (then the negative part of me says "and then you fucked it up" and it can shut it's god damned mouth).

If you do not recieve a reply on facebook, it doesn't mean anything, except that you have not recieved a reply on facebook.

If a text message has not been reciprocated, it does not mean anything other than that which it is. The text message has not been reciprocated. Not that it has not yet been reciprocated, that assumes that it will, which invests me in the text message. It just hasn't been replied to, and that's it.

Quit thinking you're no thin ice. It isn't even winter.

The Allegory of The Burning House

A man stands on the street in front of his house, looking up at it with the fierce pride of creation, the pride of self, on his architectural achievement. A second man walks up and stands next to the first and gazes at the house in astonishment. Quickly he says to the first man, "Sir! Your house is on fire!"

The first man replies, "Yes, it is a fine house."

Confused and thinking the first man must have misheard him, the second man again tells him, "Your beautiful home will burn to the ground unless you put out that fire!" And to his astonishment, the first man turns to him with a look of slight annoyance, as one might give to a child who should not meddle in things he does not understand.

"Sir, I built this house, and that fire is a part of my house. If I put out that fire my house will not be mine any longer." He then turns back to gaze at his house once more. The fire spreads from just one of the upper windows to a second. The glass on the first window shatters causing a massive fireball to shoot outward. Both men duck instinctively and the first man gives a nervous chuckle, "See how well I have built my house? The neighbors are surely jealous of my superior work. This is truly the best way to build a house." He shakes off the initial nerves and sets his feet against imaginary resistance to his masterwork.

The second man, being a person of unbounded care and compassion, implores the man to see reason, to see that if he does not stop the fire now, there will be no more house of which he may be proud. The fire, he says, will consume the whole thing.

"Nonsense!" Exhorts the first man, "There are many ways to build a house, but this is the one I have chosen, and this one works best for me!" He is clearly growing impatient with the second man, and he wonders how the second man could be so stupid as to not see the simple genius of his house. Clearly the second man is a man of sub-normal intelligence.

"Look!" Shouts the second man, he is growing desperate for the first to see reason and save his house, for the construction is indeed beautiful and masterful. "The fire has spread to the houses next to yours! And look further! The neighbors have begun using water to stop the fire! Their houses will remain standing. Why then sir, will you not do the same for your own, beautiful house?"

Violently, the first man screams at the second, "Their way is not mine! And mine is perfectly acceptable! In fact, it is they who have destroyed their homes by not accepting the fire as part of their house!" He breathes heavily after his outburst, but coughs as the smoke drifts toward them in dark masses. The second man, unable to hold his composure any longer, lunges forward, "There is still time to save your house!" He collects the neighbors that have gathered to watch the blaze and rallies them to action, forming a bucket line and setting up hoses. The first man watches in astonishment for a few moments. For one instant, he see's the the love that this stranger has for something that is not even his own, the hatred the stranger has for the fire which, uncontrolled, has now spread to more than half the house. But it is only an instant.

"Get away from my house!" Bellows the first man, and he bars the way in. The neighbors struggle to get past him, but it is too late. The blaze now burns so hot that they cannot get close to the house and so they set to dousing their own houses with water, keeping them safe from the inferno. "Cowards!" The first man chokes out. He cannot breathe through the smoke that is issuing forth from the destroyed door and shattered windows. His flesh cooks as the flames lick his back. Finally, saved only by his animal instinct for survival, the first man rushes away from his house which has begun to collapse, completely engulfed in flame.

The next morning, the man still sits on the opposite side of the street, staring at the heap of ashes that was his house. The second man approaches him and asks him why he let it go so far, why did he not save the house, or permit the neighbors to help him save it? The first man chokes out a reply between breathy sobs, "I built my house my way. My own way. Everybody is entitled to do things the way they like."

The second man reasons softly, "But sir, your house was on fire."

"But it was my fire! It was a part of my house! It should not have destroyed my house. It is my opinion that the fire should have been a part of the house, and everybody is entitled to their own opinion!" The first man finishes his sentence in a whine, weakness and lack of conviction oozing from every word.

His kindness and unwillingness to accept the madness before him causes the second man to ask one final set of questions of the first, "Where sir, did you come by this fire, what was it doing in your house to begin with? Where did you come by the notion that fire belongs in the house?"

Succeeding only in a mockery of composure, the first man replies, "It is my opinion, that the uniqueness of a house on fire gives it beauty. It is the fire that gave my house it's superiority over the boring, and placed me higher than those sheep who could not see the value of the fire. And since it is my opinion, it cannot be wrong. Everybody is entitled to their opinion."

"But where sir, did the fire come from?"

The first man scoffs, able even in his misery to register scorn for one so stupid as the second man, "I set the fire myself."

Standing and walking away, the second man spits over his shoulder, for he can no longer muster any respect for this poor excuse for a living being, "This fire that you held onto, which damaged and destroyed all that you've worked so hard for, can never do anything other than that which it has done. Though useful when harnessed properly, it is not an opinion that fire is destructive. It is a fact."

The first man stares after the second and watches him enter his own beautiful home. He cries bitterly into his hands about how unfair life is and how could he be so cursed as to always end up surrounded by people who just don't understand him and his genius. How dare the second man say that the opinions of the first were what led him to this destruction. That fire was important to the identity of the house he wanted to build, he was sure of it, and he contemplated that perhaps he set it in the wrong room.