Saturday, December 6, 2008

50th Post, Rather Ridiculous

I was out at my buddy's girlfriend's house last night, whose housemate happens to be TheActress. I endeavored to not make things weird, I had brought PuppyKins with me (who I realized later in the night, when I was standing next to her and playing with her hair and scratching behind her ears, that I don't have a compulsion to hook up with her, I really just want to be friends, even though I'm not opposed to her sexually at all) and I was just having a good time. Well TheActress was trying to get back into my pants, or rather into my heart, which just was not going to happen. She gets all close and is whispering in my ear and is letting me feel her up, and imagine this shit with me, this girl is so fucking weird.

We're talking dirty to eachother, I'm saying things that are well beyond my threshold for what I'm comfortable saying in bed to a girl, because I just didn't give a fuck, but picture all of this said in the most seductive voice possible...

"You know what I want to do to you?"

"What?" pressing hips into me

"I wanna take you downstairs and titty fuck your big fucking soft tits and cum all over your face and neck, would you like that?"

"mmmm" moaning in extacy "no" a breath that would only come after an intense orgasm

"You want me to fuck you? I'm gunna fuck you so hard like the naughty little slut you are"

"Uhhhnnn I'm not a slut," She tries to kiss me, breathing heavily "I wanna cuddle, mmmuhhhnn"

Breaking all pretense of talking dirty, "You have 2 choices...well more like 4. One, you can suck my cock, two we can have sex, three I can titty fuck you, or four I can shove you off and go back to my friends"

Trying to be indignant and sultry at the same fucking time god damn it, "Oh so you won't even consider dating me unless you've had sex with me?"

"Yep, thats right. You're a virgin aren't you."

"No...You're an asshole..." still trying to be seductive.

"Yeah I am, told you that. And I don't believe you, bye."

The rest of the night she was trying to touch on me and get in my cuddle pants. I said I MIGHT cuddle with her if we had sex. God she's so....ugngnugghguhg! TAKE A HINT! Her housemate came over and apologized to me for her behavior, I lol'd.

Left and went to another party. 45 seconds after I walked in, I was in the pantry closet hooking up with a girl who I had a one night stand with in the past, #1BJ (I wonder why I named her that???). I went inside, girls and friends were greeting me and hugging me, this girl was especially touchy and I immediately let her kinda fall against me into the kitchen, and she tries to kiss me. This girl was so god damn horny, I've never seen somebody trying to get laid so hard in my life. I tried to pull her to a corner, but realized I could only makeout and then saw the door to the pantry open. Pulled her in, couldn't get her to go down on me, I guess the prospect of kneeling on lenoleum wasn't very appealing. Turned her around and attempted to fuck her from behind but was unable to fit it in her. This blew my mind, I would never have guessed. After 10 or so minutes of hooking up we put our clothes on and went back outside. She never rehooked her bra strap and didn't realize it for like the next two hours. She keeps messing with her (massive) boobs trying to fix things and never even figured it out. Hilarious.

I was on the couch a bit later holding Puppykins head to my chest and playing with her hair. She can be so adorable. I had no interest in hooking up with her. I was fantasizing about falling asleep together and just stroking her head and tickling eachothers backs (my favorite thing in the world). This was really big for me because I always have this compulsion within myself to hook up with pretty much every girl I have the opportunity with. It's something I've been struggling against for quite some time and it makes it hard for me to find girls that I'm genuinely attracted to and interested in, because I confuse mild attraction and a compulsion to hook up with genuine interest a lot of times. This other girl from one of my lit classes was on the couch next to us. She's really pretty, like take home to mom pretty, so I'll call her MomPretty, and I say to her "MomPretty I want to play with your hair too"
"But mine is in a pony tail!"
"take it out and come here"

She does and leans back into my arm and lets me stroke her hair. Somebody starts taking pictures, I look like a pimp. Puppykins is already oriented toward me with her knee over mine somewhat, so I tell MomPretty to do the same thing. She does. (And here is a distinction in calibration, one of my housemates likes to say "do this, do that" and give orders and take things without asking, which in the community would be considered alpha. But its annoying as fuck and inconsiderate. However, I tell this girl to put her head on me, to change posititions, take the tie out of her hair, and it isn't annoying and I'm gaining positive compliance. Something good to remember.)

After a little while Puppykins goes home and me and MomPretty keep cuddling. We have a goofy fight over the remote, we move around the house a bit and talk with people, and comeback to cuddle a few more times (see TheActress? I cuddle. Just not with stupid girls who are afraid of their vaginas.). Finally we are left all alone, she suggests we join the rest of the group who are in the basement playing pool. Its 5 am by this point, I tell her I'm tired and ask if she wants to walk me home. She does. We go to my house, don't say a word about anything but nonsense really, I walk in, she follows, we go straight up to my room, sit on my bed, I close the door, talk a little, start to makeout, but I sense a lot of hesitation.

Another note to self. I've gotten this kind of resistance before and I don't know what to do about it. Usually, and this time was no exception, I say something to the effect of, "Hey it's cool, we don't have to do this, you don't have to be here if you don't want to" They always say that its not that they dont want to, its something else, but then leave (no exception here) so what gives? Probably triggered her anti slut defense, but what can I say to innoculate? Maybe go AFC Adam and say something like, "look I'm a gentleman so you and I are not hooking up, but I do want to cuddle and talk" then move from there. Yeah that sounds good.

She leaves, I go to sleep. Madeout with two different girls, hooked up with one of them, even BigBear gave me a drunk dial. Ridiculous night.

Oh, p.s. forgot to mention. This girl that I met on OkCupid and I are supposed to meet up tonight. We texted a bunch a couple weeks ago, and she went non responsive and I forgot about her. Before taking a nap last night, I sent her a text "hey whats up" just to see if she was still going to be non responsive. My phone rang a bunch of times while I was sleeping but I ignored it. Checked my texts and calls: my mom, my buddy, and OkCupid girl...

"any interst in seeing mirah w me tonight at the aladdin? i have an extra ticket. freeee!"
and another one 25 minutes later...

"okay i have to take back the mirah invite my coworker came thru. are youu free anytime this weekend? ill buy you a whole venue to make up for it"

This seemed really weird to me. Maybe she was shit testing me before, I dont usually think about shit tests over text, so maybe I should, that could help my text game a bit. I guess the universe was just in Dasani Alignment last night. We texted a little and have plans to meet up tonight around 7. Wtf am I going to do with her? I don't know, maybe go get a drink, fuck if I know hahaha.

1 comment:

Halffull said...

Holy shit dude... you're a beast.

Great stuff.