Saturday, October 25, 2008
FR: The Happening
Last night I had SassyFrass' housemate, TheActress come over to watch a movie with me. We'll see what happens with the whole situation, but its possible that by doing this I may have locked myself out with SF. We'll see.
I was heading out to see Edguy in concert (if you have the opportunity, GO! Tobias Sammet is an amazing man on stage!) and I texted TheActress to see if she wanted to get together and watch a movie we had been planning on (I mentioned it in my last FR). She texted back that she would like to a little later, I said I'd be back about 11, she agreed.
The concert was amazing. I was two people from the stage and got one of my favorite songs on video.
Came home, called TheActress, she didn't answer. I was going to head out with my housemate to some parties, but she called back and said she had to shower before coming over, I said ok and "But I'm not sitting around for one of those hour long girly showers, you best hurry it up!" She calls again half an hour later ready to go, I go pick her up.
We come back here, my housemates have some people over playing catch phrase, The Actress pets our animals, we go up to my room to watch the movie. Talk a little bit, show her some pics and video from the concert, then ask for the movie. She didn't have it, she meant for us to rent it ondemand. So we headed out to one of those little redbox kiosks and got it for a dollar. So it was good that we had some time to just chill before launching into being in eachothers arms, she was talking kind of fast and I could tell she was a little nervous.
Anyway, what's important about this whole thing for me is this. This girl was super into me, and I'm attracted to her (moreso now) but I didn't feel any fear or anxiety at all, and thus I was acting in a very assertive, dominant, and attractive way. We got back, set up the movie, I had her sit down first, then I sat down next to her so close our bodies were together (I like to do this because if she doesn't want to sit close to me, she can move away right away), she didn't move so almost in the same motion as sitting down, I reached across her, grabbed her under her opposite leg/hip and pulled her closer into me. She leaned in and curled up her legs across mine and clutched my arm that was across her.
So, I'm comparing that to the way I acted with SassyFrass that night I went over to her place. This way was much better, much smoother, and much more comfortable. Sometimes I gotta relearn stuff to get it in properly.
We watched the whole movie, I debated whether or not to hook up with her. On the one hand, I'm into her, and on the other I don't want to mess it up with SF. It might not even mess it up with her, and the way TheActress was talking, she might not even talk to her housemates about her sexual activity, so maybe I'll just end up totally under the radar. Who knows. Long story short I decided to hook up with her.
We're cuddling after the movie under a blanket and I try to kiss her, but she won't let me. She says she's a prude and just wants to cuddle. We talk and talk and talk, I assure her that all she has to do is to say stop to me and I'll stop whatever I'm doing. She thanks me and sounds relieved. She's not used to the casual hookup thing, and I give her a short "I'm kind of a player" speach, finishing with my new favorite "line," "It's important to me that you know what kind of person I am before you get involved with me." She thanks me again.
What ensued was basically a "lets turn eachother on without ever actually hooking up" session. It was interesting, and this girl is way dirtier than I had originally thought. She has the most sensitive boobs of any girl I've ever come into contact with. Like imagine somebody has cold hands and shoves them up your shirt, the kind of physical and vocal reaction you might have, run that through an arousal filter, and you have what happens when I touch this girl's boobs. And she's got a good sized rack so I am well beyond down to TF.
She'll let me down the back of her pants, she loves me looking at her body, but she is hesitant to let me touch her boobs too much (clothes never came off) because "they're so sensitive, and I don't want to ruin that by having them touched too much, I want it to feel awesome every time." Which is just awesome reasoning, it's like not jerking off for a week, when you finally do get off, its waaaay more intense.
This girl talks dirty. Never been with a girl who really got into it the way she did. Unfortunately my voice was hoarse from the concert I had just gotten back from, so it was hard to talk the way I wanted to, and I'm not very good at dirty talk, but I'm learning. She keeps asking me to describe to her the things I want to do to her while we're gently dry humping and she constantly seems on the verge of orgasm. She's an interesting girl.
We end up staying up till like 4:30am talking and fooling around (without actually fooling around) before I take her home. She kept saying things about how her housemates are crazy (like wild partiers and love to fuck) and kept asking me if I found them attractive. Said to me "didn't you and SassyFrass have a thing?" to which I replied "not really, we had kind of a nothing...a No-Thing as eckhart tolle would say." Which cracked me up that I could use "no-thing" in casual conversation. She's definitely got some insecurities and so I told her bluntly, "look, you're going to have to get used to the idea of me with other girls if you want to do this *gesturing* but if you want to just be friends, that's cool too." Gently mentining that I'm cool with just being friends, I like that, I'll have to remember.
Couple other things, she talked about some people being "easy" aka slutty and how she isn't, and I told her, "theres no such thing as easy, there is comfortable, and uncomfortable." and explained what I meant. I like that way of discribing the slutty vs not slutty issue. Some people are more comfortable with sexual activity earlier on because they have different values, it doesn't make them easier or more slutty, they just have values that allow them to become more comfortable more quickly in a sexual situation. If a person is 100% comfortable with being sexual with another person and it happens, it has nothing to do with ease or sluttiness. Just amount of time it takes to become comfortable.