Sunday, November 9, 2008

Interesting points

Other night I was at a party, had this girl waaaay into me, she was giving me (I realize now) the kind of vibe that says "I'm ready for a caveman to lead me someplace semi private and fuck me" but I was in the midst of a game of beer pong and told myself not to get too antsy, she wasn't going anywhere. Turns out she was. To the best of my knowledge she ended up leaving with some stoner guy. Weak! But what I learned is that at every party with a good female to male ratio, there is AT LEAST one of these girls if not several, who after some solid attraction and minimal investment will be ready to pull out and hook up. So basically, get out there and find that girl (while working the room).

I ended up in one of the dorms at Doa's room. It was like 2 minutes before intervisitation time was up (guys not allowed in girls wings in university), so I ducked in, closed the door, and sat down. I had already walked past her room, the door was open, she was on the phone and got up to talk to me, and promised to finish her conversation by the time i came back to say hi.

We ended up talking for a bit over an hour, so at past 3 am I decided to head out. I'm not going to interpret beyond exactly what this was - two people having a conversation late at night. There were no explicit signs in either direction.

Earlier that day I talked to LittleOne about the trust thing. I told her I decided that it was important that she trust me, and she has to start, or we're finished. Of course she said "what do you expect, its just going to happen?" and I said "nope, but it better happen this weekend." It was a longer conversation than that, but if she won't start acting like she trusts me I can't handle being around her.

I feel as though I'm back at square one somewhat.

I went out to dinner with my parents, and we ended up seated at a table that was right next to this girl from my school, way hott, who I managed to creep out early on in the summer (pre-convention). She was out on an obvious date with this alpha guy who fucked the girl I was most into at my birthday party back in June (It was a blow to me because the girl was the hottest one at the party, and asked me for MY number. But it being my 21st I was pretty drunk and having so much fun I wasn't thinking about hooking up until the night was practically over and the party clearedup. She texted me, she was way excited to go out with me, but I somehow managed to mess it up. Found out later that she had fucked this dude I mentioned the night she asked for my number.)

Anyway, I saw her, literally 3 feet from me, and just pretended not to notice. I got up to go to the bathroom so that when I walked back I could see for sure, and that's when I saw the dude from my birthday. I was a little upset, but I got over it and decided to become as much of a student as I could without blatantly watching and listening. The girl was SOOOO into him it was absurd. She was laughing way too hard at everything he said, she was over-eagerly contributing to the conversation, it was just blatantly obvious that he was going to have her when they got home. And guess what PUA's, it was on a dinner date. Course they could already have been fucking, I have no idea, but it felt more like a first date from where I was. Anyway, the dude was calm and relaxed, he sounded almost bored and almost completely uninterested in what she had to say. I couldn't really hear what he was saying, but I can almost guarantee it wasn't anything very interesting. He's a real tall guy, very muscular with decent fashion sense, so he has a lot of natural advantages, but there must be something else to him.

The main thing I took though, was the girl's demeanor. The only girls I've ever had acting that weird and interested in me were unattractive and/or had forced me into a date with them. Even after dates where I've hooked up, it has never been so on that there was absolutely no anxiety. And I know what it feels like to see every sign clear as day and know, with absolute certainty, that it is going to happen.

Do the really good guys still deal with the question in their head of whether its really on or not while they're out on a date or bring a girl over? 'Cuz recently I've been having some frustrations with girls who show all the macro behaviors of being interested (coming over to visit me knowing that we were going to "watch a movie" after we had madeout a couple nights before, for isntance...Beej), but show no micro behaviors of being interested (touching, laughter, etc).

Basically it gave me a mark to shoot for. To get girls so into me that when we go out on a date, THEY feel insecure about whether I like them or not, and about if they might screw up.


Halffull said...

Sup man,

Seems to me this is just a matter of the type of game he's running, rather than anything indicating how much attraction he's getting.

When I run that type of alpha super disinterested type of game, I'll get similar reactions. When I have a more accepting non-judgemental vibe... none of that nervous shit.
But the closing is pretty equal.

If you're not getting giggly attraction any more, all that means is that your game is maturing... you're going from just spiking BT to a more constant grounded smouldering attraction.

Dasani said...

You could be right.

In an ideal case with both types of game you're describing, I could imagine situations where there is no uncertainty of "will I or won't I get the hookup."

It isn't very "me" to be acting disinterested so late in the game, and if she's boring I try to make things fun, but perhaps the shift is that I need to make them fun for me as opposed to her.

Sumedh said...

The other day I was in a bad mood and feeling pretty aggressive, I'm a friendly nice guy normally, and I noticed just by being less interested, with a lower scruffier voice, with a kind of an i expect the world to cater to me attitude, random people I was talking to got nervous and males were giving me more respect. I didn't have drawn out long interactions in this mindset, but the initial reactions was people being more nervous and respectful.

Anonymous said...

great blog man really interesting stuff...keep having fun out there. if you don't mind me asking what college do you go to?

Dasani said...

If you read every post I've written, there should be enough context clues to make a pretty accurate conjecture =)