Friday, November 14, 2008

My Size

This is so weird to me. Pictured here and expertly edited for confidentiality, is me and a young lady at a party. This picture is a physical representation of something I've only started to notice about myself.

The other day I was in one of my lit classes and the prof was passing back our essays. I was going to sit down just as she was placing mine on my desk, and I realized that I was a head taller than her! She's this little tiny (and kind of adorable) woman up there teaching the class, and I had no idea! In my head, I tend to make other people bigger than me, especially people of authority or people who I perceive to have high value. For instance this professor, my parents, hot girls, etc. And until recently I had no idea!

And what is the effect of a physically imposing person? They diminish you, they can cause fear, you can assign them greater worth because of their size, etc. And I've learned that it is the same with mental images. I picture myself, in my head, as a small dude, when in reality, I'm actually kind of an imposing figure in certain circles (mainly petite adorable females). What a limiting self perception!

Just look at the picture! I'm engulfing her in my arms and she's stuffed up against me, i'm so masculine and dominant and she's so feminine and cute!

Some people I am larger than in reality:
-My female lit profs
-My parents
-Nearly every girl in my social circle
-LittleOne (duh. And on that note, here is an exercise for me. When I'm with a girl, if there is a mirror, hold her from behind and have the two of us gaze on your image together in the mirror. See for yourself, as well as allow her to see, my dominant image and size.)

I'm not saying "tall guys and big guys rule!" I'm saying that it is a limiting perception to see myself as so small in my own mind and it affects me. I'm actually a big person!

1 comment:

Sumedh said...

I've noticed this as well.