Saturday, September 13, 2008

Missed it! again!!!!

My buddy invited me out with him and his girlfriend, and their hottie friend (who looks nothing like that pictuere) who I've been into since the dawn of sophomore year. They prefunked, I decided not to really drink tonight. All headed out to MacFaddens, got in for free, bought one beer to break my 20 and give me bus money to get home.

Hit my groove when everybody was getting up to do something and the hottie, SassyFrass, says to me "you're on purse duty!" and tries to strand me, alone, at the table, holding her purse. Ehhh no. I tell her kindly, fuck that, I'll hold your purse but I'm not sitting here like a bitch, and I go and sit right down with two friendly guys. "but but, you're supposed to be guarding my purse!"
"I am. Get out of here..hey dude whats your name? Get out of here you're embarassing me in front of my new friends! Jeeze.." The girls who are with the guys, over at the bar getting drinks, turn around and laugh. I'm in with the dudes and they intro me to their girls. The tables have turned you little creature of the night.

Forgot to mention, SassyFrass just broke up with her boyfriend and was very bitter, looking to get fucked. Out on the prowl. I tell the guys I sat with this little tidbit while she's away getting another drink, and make SassyFrass sit down next to one of them when she gets back.

After this winning move, I felt better about the situation and my friends seemed to respect my social "skill." Noice. I told one of my funnier sex stories to my friend and his girlfriend to illustrate the point that when girls say they never would do something, it isn't always accurate. SassyFrass missed it and demands I tell it again. Later, remind me.

The night is fun, nothing major happens, but my friend and his girl are ducking out early, while SassyFrass' lesbian friend has shown up, and has a car. Logistics are working out a bit better, don't have to ride the bus. We bounce to a karaoke bar and hang out for awhile, the wait is too long to sing, so we bounce to a burger place and eat. I SassyFrass eats some of my burger and fries, I get verbal compliance from her saying she'll cook for me to make up for it, she throws down some qualifications that I obviously fit, and I tell her "whelp, I'm not smart." To which she assures me that I am. It was really funny to watch, the lesbian friend was checking out SassyFrass the whole time and pandering to all her qualifications and such, while I was busting on her gently and disqualifying myself. Though at one point I dropped exactly the right compliment, she said something abuot being insecure and I said something to the effect of "I wouldn't have seen it, you've got one of the most dominating personalities of anybody I know...Girls I mean, of any's like little league ;)" to which even the lesbian was like "oh my god that is so rare for a guy to acknowledge that, thats so amazing." SassyFrass is genuinely appreciative of this, she really earned it.

We're bouncing to another karaoke bar closer to home, in the ride SF says something about people thinking shes a slut, and how she doesnt care even if I think that, I tell her that the word slut doesn't exist, and there is nothing wrong with being comfortable with being sexual. Also that I only like the word as a term of endearment (cmere you little slut (= ) or when talking dirty. SF loves this, talks about how sometimes she wishes guys would just treat her like a dirty little naughty girl when she wants it. God, I want it. We sing Karaoke, Lesbian gets a bit drunk and just oggles SF, SF notices and gets a little uncomfortable. On the ride home (i'm the DD) SF says to me "OH by the way Dasani, I don't have your number...but i left my phone at home." I didn't want to ask for her number and put myself into the role of chasing her, especially when we go to the same school and I'll see her again. When we stop at her house, I pull out a pen and paper (thank you lesbian and your car) and give her my number. She leaves. I go drop off Lesbian and her car and walk home. I'm about to go to bed and my phone rings. It's a text from SF.

"Its SassyFrass. Dude..."

"Dude. We hit it all tonight...except home alone! Ahhh"

we had talked earlier that night about how funny the movie home alone is and how we should watch it, making our AHHHH faces like kevin mccalister.

"I dont kno wat that means. but she def either got drunk or just blatantly developed a crush on me" "Did u walk to my house?"

Lol the movie, home alone. Yeah i walked. You mean Lesbian?"

"Yea. And yes we shall watch home alone. Im bummed im all alone..."

"Driving Lesbian home woke me up a bit, youre obviously still awake. lets hang out"

"Im in pjs in bed"

"Youd probably pass out before i got there, goober"

"Aw u called me a goober!"

"Youre a goober. It follows. Im posting something on your facebook that will make you die laughing"

"Ok. Im fallin asleep. Nite sweetie"

ERRRRRGGG! I thought to myself, should I play a little hard to get? But then I thought, damn, the last time a girl was this ready to fuck I played hard to get and ruined shit. Fine, I'll throw it out there, something semi safe but still leading. Wasn't going to say "I'm gunna come over there and take you" though she might have liked that. And she turned down the offer. I tried to play it off a little like it wouldn't have worked out anyway, and my friend sent me this hilarious thing online at that moment, so I thought maybe if she looked at her facebook and laughed, it would wake her up and change her mind. No such luck.

I'm in the midst of a MasturFast. Use your english skills to figure out that one. Tonight will be rough on the challenge of sticking to it. Such a fucking cutie.


Anonymous said...

Masturfast-(n.) The act of masturbating during breakfast/breakfast hours

Dasani said...

lololol. I have my theories as to who this is. incorrect, man. =)