Tonight I headed out to First Thursday. My question is this...Where the fuck have I been? First Thursday is AWESOME!!
So much cool stuff and great art, I wish I had money sometimes.
I was in high spirits getting there, and I talked with a couple of different groups on the way there, just asking where to go, and some small talk with some bouncers.
By the time I got there, I was in a terrible state. I thought I had a look of cheerful curiousity on my face, but I didn't quite feel it, so I looked at myself in a reflection and started laughing immediately. I looked terrified, hahahaha. This broke my pattern somewhat, and when I finally found the epicenter of the event, I brightened up a little.
I talked with a shop keeper selling journals bound in old books. I mentioned how one of the students I worked with hated to write, so I had him write in a journal to help him get used to it, and how he had one of these journals. The guy asked if it helped him to learn to enjoy writing, I told him it had, he replied "Wow. That's probably the best thing I've ever heard regarding this, thank you." It felt great to have accidentally struck the right cord with this guy. I resolved that tonight's mission would be to bring joy like that to other people. So I walked off to give compliments to five randoms.
Some girl on her yellow outfit. A celloist on his music (amazing stuff). A girly girl on her shoes. A girl with tattoos that matched the flower in her hair. And an artist with really interesting bug eyed girl art.
Also talked to some people as I browsed stuff. Tonight, I decided, was about emotional control. I went in with a terrified look on my face, and I walked out with a smile. I just have to realize that people are friendly, and though I was out "alone" it is impossible to be truly alone in this city. There are people everywhere just brimming with stories to tell, and I want to find out what they are. Also I dig girls with that dark hair in the flapper bob cut look. Wow.
I have to realize that I'm being really hard on myself in my head sometimes. I worry that "oh man, I'm not feeling good about this, it's going to be like this forever, blah blah blah" Shut up mind. This is the second day that I've been out alone for street/day game and I've done some approaches. Last winter was the last time I "resolved" to do this and I couldn't even reach my meager goals, now I've reached each goal I've set each night. This is awesome progress. Go me!