Thursday, August 7, 2008

Values


I've been reading Awaken The Giant Within by Anthony Robbins and I've just finished the chapter on values. Firstly, I wrote out my current value system. The whole time I wrote I wondered if I was being honest with myself (funny, one of the things on my "moving away from" values list was Self Deciet), but I think I did a fair job. The idea of this chapter is to allow you to understand why you think and behave the way that you do by interpreting your behaviors through your prioritized list of values. Here is my original list...

  1. independence
  2. comfort
  3. achievement
  4. emotionally in control
  5. positivity
  6. fun
  7. contribution
  8. feeling of strength
  9. intimacy
  10. Peace
To interpret them all and give examples of how they have shaped my life would take too long, instead I'll move onto the next step, and that is to take conscious control of your value system, and thus take control of a huge portion of what drives your behavior.

This is my new list of values...

  1. Loving Acceptance
  2. Emotionally in Control
  3. Honesty
  4. Positivity
  5. Fun/Playfulness/Happiness
  6. Being Able
  7. Passion
  8. Achievement/Growth
  9. Contribution
  10. Intimacy
  11. Determination
  12. Flexibility
When I realized that there was no place on my original list for love or acceptance or forgiveness, I was struck by the realization of how MASSIVELY my view of the world and how I communicate with people in it would change if my highest priority was to love and accept all those around me. Even if that means staying away from them in order to allow them to Be as they are, to accept them and have the capacity to love them for it and not attempt to impose myself or any negativity I may feel regarding them, on them.

When I realized this, I broke down and cried. I've sabotaged so many things in my life and closed myself off emotionally to all but my closest friends (and I no doubt will continue to for awhile until this new value becomes conditioned in my nervous system), simply because love and acceptance were not anywhere near the top of (or had even come to mind as I wrote) my list.

I will strive to uphold my newest list of values. And as Flexibility is part of the list, I assert that I WILL make any changes to the list that I think are necessary as my path unfolds. It is one thing to know what I want, it is another to blindly follow it even if it is leading me to ruin.

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